I AM TIRED AND I AM STILL GETTING DRESSED.

The game starts at 10:45 p.m.

Which means I left work at five. Ate something small for dinner. Packed gear and still have another 5 hours before game time. Loaded the gear into the car. Sat around wondering knowing if you sit down you might not get up again. Finally drove thirty minutes to the rink.

Walked in wondering why hockey equipment keeps getting heavier every season. Now it's 10:18.

I've only managed to get one skate on.

My heart rate is already up. How? I'm literally sitting down.

The guy next to me is somehow fully dressed, taping his stick, drinking a sports drink, and asking if I want to stay for beers afterward.

I'm still trying to remember which shinguard goes on which leg. The shoulder pads suddenly feel like they weigh fifty pounds.

Getting hockey pants over knee braces should qualify as its own Olympic event. By the time I pull my jersey over my head, I'm sweating like I've already played two periods. Someone sticks their head into the locker room. "Zam is done." WHAT!?

Buddy, I'm still negotiating with my elbow pad.

Then comes the moment every beer leaguer knows.

You stand up for the first time. Everything hurts. Your skates don't quite feel right. Should have got them sharpened.

You waddle toward the door like a newborn giraffe discovering gravity. The warmup lap begins. This is the test.

Within thirty seconds you'll know exactly how tonight is going. If the legs feel good... Maybe you've got one more game in you. If they don't...

You're already planning tomorrow morning's excuse. "Think I slept funny." "Must've picked something up." "Probably shouldn't come into the office today."

The funny part is that none of it matters. Because somehow, every week, we do it all over again.

The late nights. The heavy gear. The sore knees. The drive home after midnight. Not because it's easy. Not because we're getting younger. Because somewhere between tying that second skate and taking the first shift... We remember exactly why we keep coming back.

Now excuse me... I need to catch my breath. I just finished getting dressed.